Looking Back

I am 75 years of age and I have noticed I am spending more time looking back at my life and events in this life. I do not know if this is an age factor or what? I have had good moments, bad moments with some very good moments and very bad moments.

I should have made some wiser decisions on some events in my life. However, the decisions I did make and sometimes pure luck I have had a productive and rewarding life with very few trying times like I had seen other beings experiencing. I consider myself very fortunate that I missed much violence and hatred in this world and on some occasions I was near the brink of serious violence and bloodshed.

Sure, my life could have been more luxurious and financially better off. But, I never had to experience long periods of hunger or homelessness. Smoking and alcohol has been my biggest vice. I was able to overcome nicotine addiction at age 28 and consider this success to be one of the best things that I was able to break. If I was unsuccessful I now speculate my life would have ended 20 or more years ago. I liked to drink and have fun but again I was fortunate where the addiction of alcohol did not destroy my future. To put is simplify I became sick and tired of surviving hangovers. Also the taste of alcohol and the buzz diminished through my aging years. Many that has crossed my path has not been as fortunate as I have in beating the buzz of this powerful drug.

All in all my life has been very easy. I am not rich with material possessions. But I am comfortable. My health has been relatively good throughout my years. I have not had to endure, Chemo, bypass surgery, stents, or any artificial joints. Cataracts and a few infections is all I have had to endure.

Looking forward, I do not know what to expect. Someday I will have to experience  sickness and death, which may be next week or 20 years from now. I like to think positive, but I am concerned about the divide in this country and will this country I love survive this path of self destruction? There is so much hatred, violence and death presently in this world. Will my remaining time have to experience the pain and suffering that I have missed in my first 75 years?  Only time will tell.


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