For most of my life I have tried to be something I was not. Many times, through life I heard “You should be like, whatever name you want to insert.” In younger years I heard; you should be more like your brother. Just because he is five years older than me, I should be like him? I guess I was a handful when I was young. Going to school I hear the same thing. You should be more like Johnny. At church I hear you are a sinner and should be more like the saints and apostles. Well, I got the picture, I should be somebody I am not and be somebody that fits in the surrounding society.
My teenage years were very difficult for me. For some reason I was angry and mad all the time. I hated myself and my situation. Was it because I was trying to be somebody I was not or was it just the hormonal change that everyone goes through during that age. One will never know.
I was drafted into the army later and looking back now I think this is one of the best things that happened to me in that period. This was in the Viet Nam era but fortunately my service period was served in Germany instead of Viet Nam unlike the seven other men drafted on that day. They all went to Viet Nam. Why I went to Germany and not Viet Nam is something I will never know. In the service you meet all kinds of people from many different areas of the country. Because of that I realized that the human race is not that bad. All the ones I met were basically good and were just trying to get through the challenges in front of them.
I have spent maybe two thirds of life trying to be somebody that I am not. You may believe this or not, but, one day I was taking a walk around the greenbelt near our home. There was nobody around and I was just having some silent time to my own. Then this loud voice came out and spoke. “Tom stop trying to be somebody else, just be yourself! Your purpose in life is to be yourself!” After that event I have decided to just be myself. Since that time, I been at peace since and am actually enjoying just being myself. I even like myself. This is one positive change I have made in my life.
TomT2.0 
